Theme: #010 Shiver- (100 suju fic challenge)
Pairing: Heechul/Heechul, KyuChul, KiChul, Ki/Kyu/Chul(if you squint), Ninjae!Eunhae, Ninja!KangTeuk, Ninja!Sihan, Ninja!Yewook,
Rating: R - language, themes
Summary: Why were there blank spots in his memory, why couldn't he remember what he'd done a day before, the night before, an hour ago?
AU (isn't it always though, since none of what we right will ever be real life?) ONESHOT
Authors Note: This is my try at suspense/mystery/thriller... but it's not as angsty as it could be...
Disclaimer: If I owned Suju, I wouldn´t be writing fanfiction
Heechul pressed his eyes tightly, he was so tired he felt like death warmed over. He sat up, rubbing his temples. The headache was making his vision blurry, and he was feeling extremely nauseous. He shook his head and tried to think what he'd done the night before but nothing came up. He had no idea... And whe he went to meet up with his friends, they were looking at him like he'd grown two heads overnight or something.
Kyuhyun and Kibum were the ones to explain what happened. They asked him how he could have done that? which he answered with an extremely unarticulate "huh?" When they saw his bewilderment they looked at each other...
"Hyung were you too wasted? You got it on with a total stranger, next thing we know he's sucking you off in the bathroom, seriously hyung, I thought you had taste."
Kibum looked at Heechul to see what reaction he had to Kyuhyun's accusation and noticed again that Heechul didn't seem to know what they were talking about at all.
Another time apparently he kissed his oldest childhood friend Leeteuk which resulted in a punch to the face and a black eye that he didn't know how he'd recieved the next day. That is until Leeteuk came to visit him to tell him not to talk to him any time soon because he didn't want to see him after this for a while.
Heechul shook his head and tried to distract himself from that confrontation. Though he did somehow wonder how good the kiss had been or if it had totally sucked, and then he winced, incredulous that he had been thinking that about Leeteuk. Damn it, luckily Kangin wasn't in town or he'd have his ass served on a platter. As he stared off into space, his housekeeper, Lee Ah Na, brought him his afternoon tea, "Sir, your afternoon tea."
Heechul turned his head, "thanks, please set it down, I'll drink it in a little while."
Ah Na smiled, "Yes sir, but I think you should drink it soon, it'll become cold, and you don't like it that way."
Heechul nodded, "alright, thanks"
Ah Na handed it to him and turned to walk out of the living room.
He took a sip, "ugh, it's too sweet"
Ah Na turned around and bowed and said, "I'm sorry, I'll go make it again."
Heechul, frowned, "no don't worry, that'd be a waste."
And he continued sipping the tea, Ah Na took it as a cue to leave the room so that he could think.
A few days afterwards, strange notes with his own writing started to appear, saying things like, "Kim Heechul, you'll disappear soon" "Kim Heechul, you'll soon die" "Kim Heechul friends will hate you forever"
A few days later he realized that perhaps it hadn't been empty threats.
He lost his friends more quickly than he'd imagine, only Kibum and Kyuhyun still talk to him, and they were the ones who informed him of the aweful things that happened during his blanked out times.
The first friends to leave him were Eunhyuk and Donghae. Supposedly he'd arrived at Eunhyuk's dance studio as he was leaving it and had dragged him away. They told him he almost raped Eunhyuk, and had been stopped by Donghae from doing so.
The next to leave were Leeteuk and KangIn when he went to their house and scared the hell out of them by taking a bat to all their furnishings and breaking windows and anything that got in his way.
Shindong stopped talking to him after he demolished his motorbike.Sungmin, Yesung, and Ryeowook were not talking to him in solidarity with their friends, and Siwon and Hankyung had left for China a year ago for work and wasn't in regular contact with them anymore, so only Kyuhyun and Kibum talked to him at all, though that's because they believed what he said about not recalling anything at all. Everyone else told him to stop trying to live in a fantasy and wake up and realize he was not in some novel.
Everytime after these things happened during his blank memory states, Heechul would wake up and shiver, tears in his eyes with no memory of the recent past.
Kibum and Kyuhyun suggested he go see a therapist, but nothing came of it, and he continued to have blank spots in his memories, they tried a hipnotist but all that managed was to make him fall asleep.
Then came that moment when he started to abhor mirrors, because at completely random moments he'd pass by one and swear he saw a smirk on his face in the mirror when in reality his face was drawn and pale. He covered all the mirrors, scolding his housekeeper when she would uncover them. He began to avoid his dongsaengs, he refused to asnwer Kyuhyuns incessant calls, only picking up when the other threatened to call the police to check on him.
Then one day after three days of insomnia he fell asleep exhausted only to find himself open his eyes right away in a dark room that had a tall mirror at the end.
He approached it with extreme trepidation, hoping to see nothing, but as he got nearer that more than a mirror it seemed like a window because he didn't see himself but the back of a person, and people crying further down, he started to run when he realized that they were his friends, then the figure whose shaking back was to him turned and Heechul fell down in shock, it was himself. he was smirking and laughing, the face becoming destorted in crazy laughter.
Heechul felt fear, anger, hate well up and he yelled out, "WHO ARE YOU??? WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY FRIENDS?"
The man with his face said, "I'm you don't you see?"
"You can't be me, because I'm me." Heechul's eyes sharpened.
"Maybe you are and maybe you aren't, but either way they see me and think it's you, so I AM you." laughing again he resumed. "They're no fun, they're weak, and I've already made them leave you. Do you even have good friends?" his deranged laughter rang out again.
"Truly I am sorry towards you, where are the friends that stick to you through thick and thin?"
Heechul ran forward and kicked and smashed the mirror into many little pieces and the image disappeared. For a second, Heechul thought it was over, but laughter suddenly erupted and the other was mocking him, "You didn't think getting rid of me would be that easy, did you?"
Before Heechul could even blink the mirror was standing before him as if nothing had happened, and that stranger with his face stood before him with a smirk and glinting eyes. "Well it's no fun if you can't fight back, so I'll give you a clue. Watch those around you, the person you'd least expect will be the one that's linked to this. Hurry up and get a clue."
Heechul felt himself be pulled and his body was shaking, he opened his eyes and saw that Kyuhyun was shaking him awake.
"Hyung, wake up. hyung wake up!" he kept saying over and over
Heechul lifted a hand and placed it over Kyuhyun's, "I'm awake." Kyuhyun sighed in relief and sank down on the edge of the sofa. "Thank God, Hyung what happened? you weren't breathing, are you on drugs hyung?"
Heechul shook his head, "No." With his mind clearing he really looked at Kyuhyun and realized what was off in this scenario, "What are you doing here? How did you get inside?"
Kyuhyun looked directly at Heechuls eyes and said honestly, "I made a copy of them a while ago, in fact I have a copy to everyone's house, for emergency purposes"
Heechul sat up and stretched out his hand to Kyuhyun, and firmly said, " Give me mine back now Kyuhyun."
Kyuhyun stood up, "No, I won't, you're not well and if something like this happens and you're suddenly not breathing it means that you need a friend to come check up on you. I'm not going to give you the key."
"Give it to me, I didn't give you permission to keep tags on me Cho Kyuhyun."
"I'm sorry hyung, but right now I don't think you can honestly say you don't need me."
And before Heechul could say anything more or try to move Kyuhyun was already out the door,
Heechul shook his head, ' damn that kid, he's such a strange busybody' He felt thirsty and hungry all at once, and saw that Kyuhyun had left him food and a cup of tea, which was lukewarm now.
Feeling tired Heechul closed his eyes and laid down on the sofa again, maybe rest was all he needed and everything that had been happening was due to stress.
Next thing Heechul knew he was walking down the streets dressed in a black leather jacket and torn jeans... "What... when did I put these on, how did I get here?" Looking around he sat down on the bench and rifled through his pockets looking for his cellphone.
He called Kibum hurriedly, and sighed when he answered.
"Hyung what's wrong?"
"I have no money, can you come pick me up Bummie?" Heechul swallowed trying to talk around the ball of panic that threatened to choke him.
"I'll be there right now! Where are you?"
Heechul looked around, "I don't know where I am."
"Ok, don't move, I'll call Kyuhyun."
"Don't. We had an argument at my house today."
"Hyung, you can't have, Kyuhyun's been in Busan since yesterday."
"What? NO! He was at my house and I tried to make him give me back my key and he refused."
"Hyung, he told me about that, and that was two days ago. In fact I told you where he was about three hours ago when you called."
Heechul began to hyperventilate, " I called you?... This isn't happening... it can't be... what did I do for a day and a half?"
"Hyung let me get Kyuhyun to track you through your cellphone gps, and I'll go pick you up.. don't move and don't turn off your cell."
Heechul sat down on a bench in front of a store window... "I told you to watch your surroundings" Heechul felt his back stiffen, now he was hearing voices during his waking hours. "What has been similar, each time this happens?" Heechul turned around and for a split second he saw his reflection wink at him before it returned to just being his own wan, worried face.
Heechul thought hard, trying to see a pattern. Nothing came up, he hadn't been doing anything special. He sat down on his computer, tried to jot down a few notes and ideas for his next book and just sip tea. He ate whenever he felt like it, usually calling in a service, since Ah Na wasn't his official cook. Maybe it was a new tea? but no he'd always drunk that same tea in the afternoon, and this hadn't been happening forever.
The only thing that had changed was that the tea had gotten sweeter, his housekeeper kept forgetting he disliked his tea too sweet, but he let it go since she'd only started working for him less than six months. His original housekeeper had left him because of some family problem and he'd tried to live without one, but he was usually too absorbed in his writing that he ended up going days without talking to anyone, and sometimes not eating, and that was when he was presented Lee Ah Na by Kibum, apparently he had met her at one of his part time jobs and had gotten along with her quite well.
But the more he thought of it the more he realized it had to be the tea, it was the only constant before each of his episodes. The tea, though, was something that Kyuhyun bought for him. Did that mean that he was behind the occurances, after all why does he need a copy of his house keys? and the last time he had been the one to leave him tea on the table.
But why would his dongsaeng, do this to him? He'd been his favourite since they were children, because they shared a similar style of personality.
Heechul's head started to hurt, the idea that Kyuhyun was behind this was impossible, that kid was too gentle and caring towards him ...'but you know what they say, it's the gentle quiet ones that you need to watch out for.' Heechul shook his head, no it was impossible, besides if you talked about gentle and quiet it would point to Kibum.
Heechul pressed his eyes together trying to block out everything, he didn't want to think like that about his donsaengs, it was impossible that they'd do something like that to him.
At that moment he felt a hand touch his shoulder, and he jumped.
"Hyung it's just me" Kibum looked at him worry etched into his face. "Are you alright?"
Heechul nodded mutely.
"Ok let's get you home hyung."
As they sat in Kibum's car.. Heechul looked over at Kibum who was driving, "Bummie, have you ever been... have I ever hurt you?"
Kibum looked over at him and asked, "are you serious?"
Heechul looked out the car window, "I wonder why only you and Kyuhyun have believed me when I say that it's not me, that I didn't do all those things to them."
Kibum nodded slowly, " I've thought about it also hyung, but I think it's because of the difference in your type of relationship with each of us for example: out of all of us, During our childhood I think you fought the most with Kangin hyung, argued with Siwon, teased Hankyung, Eeteuk, and Eunhyuk hyungs the most, bullied Yesung, doted on Donghae, Ryeowook, competed with Sungmin over the silliest things and played practical jokes with Shindong hyung, but with me and Kyuhyun you've talked the most. We've seen you at your worst hyung, but you've never done anything to hurt us. Kyuhyun and I have seen you vulnerable before, but they haven't because for some reason you've put on this mask that covers you from them."
Heechul nodded slowly, " I don't know why I am like that."
Kibum removed one hand from the wheel and squeezed Heechul's upper arm in comfort.
They arrived at Heechul's house in silence and Kibum walked heechul to his doorstep and waited for him to go inside before returning to his car.
Once inside his house, Heechul flopped down on his couch, not bothering with getting out of the jacket. He sat there staring off into space blankly avoiding any thoughts that could lead to suspecting his dongsaengs, when a scene flashed before his eyes.
He was looking through the pantry looking for something to munch on while he was writing. He moved boxes of cereals around, nothing. He must tell Ah Na to buy some crackers, and peanuts for him to grab as snacks. As he pushed around the boxes he saw a tin box he hadn't seen there before, as he made to grab it, Ah Na appeared at his side and grabbed it before he could, "I'm sorry sir, that's mine, it's herbs that I use for cooking."
Heechul jumped from the couch, it had to be Ah Na after all... perhaps that tin can had the answers. He started rummaging through the whole kitchen, looking in the pantry, in the shelves for the pots, everywhere.
Then he felt the barrel of a gun poke him on the back of his head.
"Sir, what are you doing? I think I'll have to punish you for interfering in my workspace."
"Ah Na-ssi, what are you doing?"
Ah Na merely laughed... "Getting revenge."
"I don't know you Ah Na, I've never done anything against you."
"But I know you Kim Heechul, Kyunggi High school "it" guy with people fawning all over you."
Heechul frowned, " That was almost fifteen years ago, Ah Na-ssi. Were you a classmate back then?"
Ah Na looked at him hard, "I don't resemble anybody to you? Heechul oppa?" her face was shadowed eerily.
"Ah Na, who are you really?" Heechul was definitely getting frightened, yet somehow he was relieve that it had been this girl all along, and not his dongsaengs.
"Heechul oppa, get up slowly, and let's walk outside to the pool, I've got everything prepared for you."
Slowly Heechul did what she said, she maintained the gun at his head, to warn him against trying to make any sudden movements.
Heechul looked around and cursed the privacy the house had, nobody would be able to see anything thanks to the bushes and trees that covered his backyard from an outsider's view.
When they reached the pool, Heechul felt the butt of the gun hit him and he blacked out.
Heechul opened his eyes and once again he was in that darkened room, and the mirror was there, and this time the one who shared his face was not smirking but glowering at him.
"Why did you not do anything? Now we're both going to disappear. I warned you didn't I? I wrote you those messages and still you didn't try to look around you."
"Who are you?"
"You, you idiot! I'm you! I'm the you that came out with the things she was drugging you with!, Damn it that bitch."
"What do you mean you're me? I only have one me."
"Everybody has many faces, many I's, and I'm just the one that was controlled by the drugs."
"I don't understand..."
"You're a fool then..."
"Look buddy, we under normal conditions work together under one unit, I'm your more caustic, cold side, with the drugs she's been slipping you I broke off from you, I thought I was finally free and yet even I was affected by that bitch's brew, after giving you the tea she would hang around and once I surfaced I would find myself compelled to carry out her plans. Several times she ordered you/me to throw ourselves off a building, get runover, but self-preservation is stronger than she thought, instead she changed to targeting your/my friends."
"Why didn't you tell me outright that it was her instead of leaving me those strange notes?"
"Because since I am a part of you, I can't tell you anything directly until your main personality realizes it. and you are too goddamn slow."
Heechul looked at him in disbelief, "So all the things that happened were part of her plan?"
"Yes for the most part, though I did have some control over your body at times."
Heechul frowned, trying to understand everything he was being told, "that time that they said I made out and got a blowjob from some nobody at the club, she ordered that too?"
His other self started laughing, "No... I wanted to do it, you should have seen the mouth on that guy. His technique was so-"
Heechul raised one hand to signal him to stop and covered his eyes with the other and counted to ten slowly.
His other self smirked, " oh and just so you know, while we're on the topic of kisses and oh so very tasty mouths, Bummie and Kyu are really VERY talented kissers."
"you heard me."
"Why did you do that you sick bastard? They are my dongsaengs, my cute little dongsaengs."
"Who happen to not be little anymore and are extremely hot"
Heechul tried to breathe evenly in and out, "what about the incident with Eeteuk? and what I almost did to Eunhyuk?"
"Well Eeteuk was my own curiosity, while the... what I almost did to the monkey was the crazy woman's fault, I'm not interested in monkeys like that, they are interesting to watch but I don't necessarily want them to share my bed."
"I hope that I never see you again in my whole life, bastard."
"Well you certainly aren't going to see anybody anymore if you don't wake up, because I think that crazy bitch has thrown us into the pool."
He opened his eyes and all he could see was a laughing Ah Na as he slowly started sinking. He tried to move but his body wasn't paying attention to him, he tried to fill his body with as much air as possible but it was impossible as his body was still acting as dead weight.
" Kim Heechul, you'll die drowned like my sister Ji Na." Heechul realized then who she was talking about. Ji Na, ice princess Lee Ji Na who confessed to him and he rejected.
His lungs were killing him he couldn't hold air any longer, and he started to sink, sink, sink. From the surface he heard a shot ring out and saw someone leap onto the pool.
Kyuhyun ... Kyuhyun had arrived to save him, Kyuhyun and also Kibum, who appeared next to them and helped Kyuhyun pull Heechul out of the water.
As they pulled him out he saw that there were many people running to their side, Eeteuk, Kangin, Yesung, Ryewook, Donghae, Eunhyuk, Sungmin, Shindong, and even Siwon and HanKyung were there. A tear fell from his cheeks as he saw them all peer at him, and exclaim about his condition, and he promptly fainted away.
Shivering Heechul looked around and noticed he was back at the mirror room.
"Hey, I guess we've been saved."
Heechul smiled and looked at the mirror and didn't see the other him, it was merely reflecting himself smiling, and he turned around to try to find where the voice was coming from when the figure in mirror put his hands on his hips.
"Hey you idiot, it's me"
"but you were smiling not smirking."
The figure in the mirror rolled his eyes, "whatever" and then he smiled again and stepped out of the mirror.
"What! You could always do that?"
"No, It just came to mind right now and I did. I guess it's because you've accepted me as a part of you." he circled Heechul once and then stopped right in front of his face, " let's merge together, you're too sappy and unfun without me and I can't go out anymore because you're not going to keep taking those drugs and it'll get boring in here alone."
Heechul nodded, "ok, but can I try something that I've always wanted to do?"
the other blinked. "sure"
Heechul smirked and before the other knew it he was flying from a punch to the face. "That's for causing so many problems."
His other self got up laughing, "fine we're even now."
"So how are you going to merge with me?"
"That's easy, put your hands out horizontally" the other also put out his hands and joined their hands together, and slowly walked towards him until their foreheads touched. "Now, I know that I am absolutely gorgeous, but you can't fall in love with me, that would be a whole new level of narcissism even for us."
Heechul groaned, "Why do I even want you back?" and then his other self disappeared.
"Heechul, Heechul wake up." Kyuhyun and Kibum were calling him.
Heechul looked around and noticed that he was in a hospital room, he groaned, he hated hospitals more than anything in the world.
He turned his head to look at Kyuhun ad Kibum, trying not to blush as memories that his other self had with them two rushed to his mind, he asked, "where is everybody? I thought they were all here."
Kyuhyun sighed in relief, "Yes they are, they are waiting outside your room. They want to ask forgiveness for not believing in you."
Kibum gripped his hand, " They feel aweful for leaving you like that, hyung"
Sighing Heechul said,. "It's not their fault, I did some pretty aweful things to everyone while in that condition. I should be saying I'm sorry." with a slight tinge on his cheeks, " I think I also have to apologize to both of you too."
Kyuhyun smirked, "On my part I don't actually remember what it is you have to apologize for, unless you want a reprise."
Kibum smiled, "Hyung what ARE you talking about? Maybe you could remind me?"
"Yah! Kibum, Kyuhyun, can we come in now? or are you two going to keep flirting with Heechul?" Kangin's voice boomed from the other side of the bedroom door.
Kyuhyun wrinkled his nose in frustration, "You can come in you voyeours!"
To everyone's surprise the first ones to reach Heechul and practically throw themselves at him were Eunhyuk and Donghae, "We're sorry hyung!" they cried out simultaneously with tears in their eyes. Heechul grabbed a hold of Eunhyuk, who didn't flinch back as he had expected him too, "I'm truly sorry about what I almost did to you, Hyukie, you have nothing to say sorry for."
Eunhyuk wiped his tears, " I knew there was something wrong, your eyes were too vacant, and I didn't try to believe you like Kyuhyun and Kibum did."
Heechul patted his hand softly... "shhhh, that's alright. I'm sorry to you and Hae.."
Then Kangin, Leeteuk, Shindong, and everybody except for Yesung who wasn't there pressed in around the bed and gave him hugs and teary kisses on the cheek.
As they all sat and talked, Heechul asked how it was that they all knew to come to see him today.
Siwon cleared his throat, "well Hankyung and I recieved a call from Kyuhyun a day ago, saying that it was urgent that we come back to Korea, so we bought tickets for as early as possible, and then as we arrived we recieved an urgent call from Kibum saying that you were in danger and should head towards your house. As we got here, the others were also arriving, and then we heard a gunshot." he motioned to Kibum to continue the story.
" I recieved a call from Kyuhyun who was arriving from Busan, about an hour after I dropped you off at home. He started saying that the Ah Na was actually dangerous." Here he passed the storytelling rights to Kyuhyun.
"I began to suspect Ah Na about a week ago, she seemed very domineering, once I even came to see you and she turned me away, saying that you were busy and didn't want to see anybody, and I knew that you hadn't been writing recently because of everything that had been happening. Then, I noticed that he actually has a college graduation ring, which meant that she was doing a job for which she was overqualified. I began to check her background, she was an orphan, and she had one sister who was now deceased. Turns out that she and her sister had been adopted by two different families but had still maintained in touch."
Everybody looked at Kyuhyun wondering how he had managed to find that out.
He smiled at their wonderment.
"Anyways, I found out that she graduated from a prestigious college and had majored in biochemistry, specializing in psicofarmaceutics. She graduated with high honors and had entered a well-established experimental laboratory but had been kicked out shortly after for showing poor ethics with the test subjects. I went to Busan yesterday because that's where she owns a house left to her by her adopted parents. I looked it up and basically broke in to try to find anything that could give me an explanation as to the motive for her possible involvement in Heechul-hyung's condition. As i looked I found a diary, by a Lee Ji Na, it had the usual girly things like clothes and parties she went too, etc, but in it she mentioned having fallen in love with Heechul hyung. In her last entry it mentioned that she had been rejected and how she wanted to die. I turned the page and a different type of handwriting had written that Ji Na had died and that she would make the one responsible pay one day."
Here Ryeowook voiced the question that everyone had in their mind, "Why did you come to the conclusion that it would be today?"
Kyuhyun answered slowly, " I wasn't sure, but I felt that it would be a good bet, since today, fifteen years ago was the day that Lee Ji Na drowned herself in the family pool."
Heechul shuddered, he'd almost been killed for something that had never been in his control. He looked around and remembered "what about the gunshot that I heard?"
Kibum answered quietly, " it happened when I tackled her, the shot rang out, but luckily it didn't hit anybody and I was able to disarm her and knock her out, while Kyuhyun arrived and jumped in to pull you out."
"Where is she now?"
Yesung walked in, "She's in custody right now, the police will be interrogating her, and then they'll come to get everybody's statement about the occurrence."
He stopped next to Heechul's bed and grabbed his hand and squeezed gently. Heechul appreciated that he didn't say anything else about the hard times that they had all been through.
As they all stood around smiling and talking and just plain enjoying that almost everything was back to normal, two nurses rushed in to push them all out so that their patient could rest.
Heechul closed his eyes and for the first time in a long while smiled as fell asleep.
100 Suju Fic Challenge Archive