Rating:PG-13 for mild language
Summary: Love wasn't fair, and Eunhyuk tries to tell that to Kibum, but Kibum already knows....definitely not the story that I started out with..
Kibum walked into the local bar he often patronized with his friends and noticed a certain brilliant red haired individual was currently downing tequila like water.
"Hyung, what are you doing here?"
Eunhyuk turned around, " I can't be here? why? because you're here? well too bad. I want to be here, and I why did you come?"
Kibum grimaced, "Hyung that's not it. and, Hyung you called me."
"No? well I can't be at home, Donghae's there with his damn violinist. That violinist is playing his strings so expertly, I hate it. damn, i need more alcohol. " eunhyuk signalled the bartender for more. "aand I called you because you should be miserable with me, let's be miserable together, we're the two rejects. the two castoffs- damn where's my alcohol?"
Kibum tried to stop him, " Hyung, let's go. That's enough."
"No it's not. It's not. Do you know why it's not?" Eunhyuk grinned maniacally. "Because there's nowhere else to go to escape the violinist. I don't want to hear the exquisite music played on his new violin anymore. He's playing Donghae even more beautifully, and I don't want to know, I don't want to see, I don't want to hear it. I don't want to."
He turned around a bit to stare at Kibum before turning back to the bar. " Why didn't you win? Why didn't you make him love you, if it were you I could deal. If it were you I could move on. If it were you I wouldn't have to be here drowning in my misery, because I could leave. leave and be sure that you'd take care of him well. You know him, you've known us for years, we've shared our lives together. But this guy, this Henry who is he? One moment the only block to Donghae's love is you and the next you've been tumbled and replaced by a nobody violinist who can't even take care of himself. Why aren't you more upset? You loved him too!"
Kibum sighed and ordered brandy as he sat down next to his hyung. " Hyung, Henry's not a bad guy. He's respectful and well-mannered, and he's not a nobody violinist, he's well respected in the music world. They will both be fine. And hyung, I wasn't a block between you and Donghae because Donghae never loved either one of us like you love him. He is just a great hyung to me, and he looks up to you as his hyung. and we were friends, and that's how Donghae cares for us. "
"You say he didn't love us like it's nothing. You aren't at all upset?" eunhyuk questioned, "I'm the only one like this?"
"Hyung, I can't be upset when Donghae hyung is so happy. Besides he wasn't really the person I was interested in all these years."
Eunhyuk swivelled around, " then who, what?! then why did you always interfere with me and Donghae?!"
Kibum chuckled, " Because it was fun at first, because you were amusingly jealous, because Donghae didn't love you like you loved him and... Because I didn't want to see you hurt by Donghae's obliviousness. Because I fell for that silly someone who made weird faces at me and along the way I found that I just didn't want to leave him alone."
Eunhyuk looked at Kibum's profile intently, trying to figure out if the guy was for real. if he had seriously just confessed what Eunhyuk thought he had. As he stared Kibum turned to look him right in the eye and Eunhyuk realized that it was indeed the truth.
" But Kibum-ah, I don't love you like that. I mean I trust you Kibum-ah, with everything even my life, but I don't have a heart to give you in return right now, and I can't even promise you a future."
Kibum nodded. "I know hyung, I've known this all along and I'm not asking for anything. I just wanted you to know that I know what you're feeling, what you're going through right now, that if you need a shoulder to cry on, mine will be by your side as long as you need it."
Eunhyuk stood up suddenly and stumbled the vast quantity of alcohol in his system finally making itself known. Kibum stood up to help him steady himself.
" I can't see anyone but Donghae right now Kibum-ah, and it's not fair, because he doesn't see me at all." he sighed payed his tab and started walking out the bar with Kibum right behind him. Eunhyuk continued his rambling outside " It's not fair Kibum-ah, he didn't see me and now all he sees is that violinist, and I didn't see you, but you see everything. Your vision is so clear. too clear. it's not fair."
Kibum grabbed Eunhyuk's arm as Eunhyuk wobbled his way down the street. They walked in relative silence the rest of the way with the occasional dry heave from Eunhyuk thanks to the excessive alcohol in his system. As they arrived in the apartment complex they both lived in, Eunhyuk looked at Kibum. "Can I stay with you tonight? I know, I know this is wrong, that this is being too inconsiderate of you Kibum-ah, but can't you just chalk it up to me being intoxicated beyond rational thought? Please?"
Kibum didn't answer but instead of heading for the fifth floor where Donghae and Eunhyuk shared an apartment, he punched in the 7th floor button on the elevator, the floor to his own apartment.
Inside his apartment, he took Eunhyuk to the bed and laid him down. He took off Eunhyuk's shirt and placed a clean t-shirt on him, and then he took off the shoes, the socks and the pants. Eunhyuk protested at the removal of his pants, but Kibum merely swatted his hands away and put him in some of his smaller pajama bottoms. Finally Kibum tucked in the now half-asleep Eunhyuk, as he moved away, a hand grabbed his." Kibum-ah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I can't see you right now. I can't promise anything, don't wait."
Kibum nodded, and gripped the hand back, " I know hyung, I know. I won't wait for you to change. You don't have to change, and you don't have to be sorry either. You just have to stay the way you are and let me care about you like right now. that's all. nothing more"
Kibum let the hand go and moved towards the door, "Kibum-ah. Thank you."
Kibum heard again the regretfulness behind those words and this time all he could say was "I know."