Chapter: Part 1 of 2
Genre: Supernatural, tragedy, angst,
Summary: Yesung has a traumatic past and present to remember, only after death can he finally understand and forgive himself
Warning: Character Death...
Disclaimer:If I could own Suju... I would not be writing fanfics...
Life Before His Eyes
Murderer! Murderer! Murderer!
Harsh raspy voices could be heard whispering these words while to young men were seated facing each other in the middle of a dark, dank and sinister room. They would have been identical but for their very different facial expressions.
The one on the left kept trying to look around, searching for the owners of the voices that were taunting him, seemingly circling and closing in on him. Slowly he was beginning to lose his control over his emotions and he was showing his fright as he began to peer into the oppressing darkness, oscillating his head almost uncontrollably. from his half parted lips, whimpers began to fall, "No,no,no.....aaaah...no, i haven´t, I swear I haven´t murdered anybody! I´m not a murderer...I swear I´m not!!" he looked beseechingly at the chillingly cold being that was seated right before his eyes looking exactly like himself, " Please, you must know that I´m not a murderer! Please, Please tell them!!"
A mysterious smile formed, " but you are, you have murdered --"
THUMP!!! Breathing heavily Yesung picked himself up from the floor and leaned on the edge o f his bed breathing heavily and trying to recall the details of his nightmare.
He couldn´t remember what happened in his dream to leave him in such a state, however he could recall seeing a mirror image of himself. Yet paradoxically he was the same and not the same all at once.
"Argh!" he grumbeld before getting up and wandering to the kitchen to grab some cold water to drink, he wasn´t going to get to sleep again anytime soon...
He looked around his lavish, cold and empty apartment... and he wished that he hadn´t been born rich, that he had to work hard and live in a dorm situation with other people. But his parents were extremely rich with both ancestral wealth adn newly acquired wealth due to his father and mothers good judgement in the stock market. His family was easily the richest in the country without exaggeration so his parents deemed it unsightly for their heir to like like the lower class and instead gave him this gilt cage that he couldn´t escape from.
He wished that they would take time off from work so that he could go home and visit apart from the major holidays, but that would never happen any time soon. He didn´t know if they had always been like this or if things had been differentn in his early childhood, for that matter he couldn´t recall anyuthing from before his eleventh birthday. He knew that he was in an accident and he had come out of it rather unscathed except for the partial amnesia he had developed.
Those eyes that had looked out of a face that was identical to his own showed anger aimed at himself was unsettling and as he could recall nothing else from the dream he could not decipher the meaning behind it.
He had noticed that in the past couple of years nightmares had intensified around the date of his birthday and he didn´t understand why or what exactly triggered the occurence of the dreams...
- - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -
The next day Yesung went to his university classes and pretty much zoned out on all of them due to his sleepless night.
During his lunch hour Yesung called Sungmin to ask him to come eat with him. As he looked around while waiting for the call to be picked up Yesung caught a strange expression on his face in the window that didn´t match his own. It lasted less than a second but it left him feeling disconcerted and all out of sorts.
His voice must have betrayed his present state of mind because it alerted Sungmin.
" Yesung, are you alright? You sound strange."
"ah, no , no don´t worry it´s nothing I´m just tired. Let´s meet up for lunch."
As Yesung waited for Sungmin to arrive he kept thinking about what he saw in his relfection on the window, he must have just imagined things because those types of things weren´t possible...
As he deep in thought, smooth cool hands placed themselves over his eyes.
"ah then Kyuhyun?"
"No!! If you don´t guess right I´m leaving!"
Yesung chuckled " Ah, that temper, only one person has that temper! Sungmin-ah!"
The hands withdrew and a face came to rest itself on his shoulders for a second and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.
Yesung smiled, as corny as he knew it sounded Sungmin was a ray of sunshine and love in his otherwise lonely bleak life.
He turned around and hugged Sungmin around the waist placing his head on his chest.
Sungmin was surprised at this unusually affectionate gesture.
" What´s wrong Sungie?"
Yesung mumbled a "nothing" but his grip got tighter for a second before he finally released him.
They had a quiet lunch together, talking about nothing and everything at the same time and they both regretted having to leave for classes.
As Yesung turned around he saw Sungmin just standing there watching him leave with a sad expression on his face...Yesung lifted his hands to wave and Sungmin returned it smiling softly...
His next class was easily his favourite class as it was a vocal training class. Also two of his friends were also in the class, so hopefully he´d finally be able to contact them... He wondered why none of their cell phones worked...
As he entered the classroom he noticed a strang atmosphere. It was subdued, and in the back in their usual spot Ryeowook was crying and being comforted by Kyuhyun.
As Yesung approached, ryeowook ran right past him as did Kyuhyun taking no noticee of Yesung´s questioning gaze...
Yesung decided to follow them to find out what was troubling sensitive Ryeowook.
As he finally caught up to them he slowed down because they were talking and Yesung didn´t want to intrude if they were having a moment... but he couldn´t help but over hear...
"...not coming back... disconnected...1 year...."
As Yesung stepped forward to attempt talking to the couple, a hand restrained him...and suddenly the scene around him began to transform into the dank place he recognized from his dream..
Yesung turned around as a voice began to speak
"You are so slow, are you finally catching on? Are you finally understanding why your friends can´t seem to be reached, why days have blurred into each other without your noticing? or why only Sungmin-ssi talks to you now..do you get it yet?"
"What are you talking about, and why don´t you take off your disguise, why do you look like me?"
"You don´t recognize who I am? You have a really aweful memory dear brother."
"Brother? I have no siblings I am my parent´s only child,"
"Indeed, you certainly have no siblings now, but you had one in your childhood."
"No, impossible there are no pictures at home of any siblings. Mother and Father never mention any other child."
"Of course they wouldn´t, they wanted you to forget, they are helping you forget your guilt."
Suddenly a cacophony of voices began to shout a mantra of "Murderer! Murderer, you are a murderer!"
"What are they talking about, I´ve never murdered anybody"
"Oh but you have dear brother, two in fact. I´ll refresh your memory... how about you remember my name first."
Suddenly the scene changedd and he was in a field full of colorful spring flowers and two litle boys were running. Yesung´s heart constricted with an old ache, he definitely knew this place.
"Do you remember now?"
As if he were in a trance Yesung nodded and started to walk towards the two cheerfully playing boys.... he remembered they were twins. They were always together, always playing and relying on only each other.
He saw the boys reach a huge hole in the ground and his head started to pound. he heard the voices as if in echo.
"Let´s see if we can jump accross!"
"No, it´s too wide, we won´t be able to."
"Yes we can. Here let me jump first."
Yesung saw one of the boys and he knew it was his younger self, prepare to jump accross. He saw him jump and make it.
"See! I made it! You can do it too!"
"No, no I can´t."
"Are you chicken?" and started making chicken sounds, taunting the other.
" No! I´m not chicken." the other retorted with a trembling voice
Yesung got a bad feeling, this wasn´t going to end well, suddenly he heard himself shout, " No!!! Don´t jump! Don´t listen to him!! Don´t Jump!! Please don´t jump!!!"
But the boy couldn´t hear him and was already preparing his shaky legs to jump.
"Please DON´T JUMP!!!!" at this the young boy almost seemed to have sensed him but he turned around and began to run for the jump...
Suddenly before the boy made the jump the vision got blurry and the scene changed. He was no longer in the field but inside a small cottage.
An old woman was calling to the boy seated in a wooden bench, " Young master, young master. Can you tell me your name young master?"
When no answer came the old woman sat down next to him and hugged him and began to rock him back and forth crying for him.
"Aigoo, aigoo! poor child, poor poor child! losing your brother like that!" the old woman continued to hug and comfort the frozen unresponsive child.
Yesung tore his eyes away, because he remembered what came next, and he turned towards the door. Sure enough, an old man entered bringing in a small body in his arms.
Suddenly his child self broke free from the old woman and ran right through Yesung to the spot where the body was being laid down.
He started shaking the shoulders, and the head lolled sickeningly, "Wake up! please wake up!! Please... I´m so sorry, so sorry, really sorry... you´re not chicken, I promise not to say that anymore, please, please.... don´t do this to me! don´t leave me.." Suddenly the child´s strength gave out and he blacked out.
Yesung stood watching all this in horror. He had caused someone´s death, his own little brother´s death...
Suddenly a voice reproached him, " You still haven´t remembered my name brother"
"Yes I have, you´re my twin brother Leesung."
"Yes. that was your name! I remember it clearly now!"
Yesung whirled around and shook his twin, " Of course you are, you are Leesung who was kind and caring and who loved me more than I deserverd."
"No, that is NOT my name." as if suddenly exasperated he turned around and called out to Yesung over his shoulder.
"Well, until you decide that you want to remember my name, let me show you the second murder. Follow me"
um i have no idea how this fic came to be... I was stressed because I´m procrastinating and I shouldn´t be but I can´t help myself, and that leads to more procrastinating.... Sometimes I just want to get away from Med-school induced stress.....